A Momma’s Reflection, Wrestling Ed.
Every wrestling season is a new beginning, and every year is a year for growth. I have been watching my son wrestle since he was four years old. The moment the referee blew their whistle, Hunter would do this little shuffle with his feet and lie down perfectly for his opponent to pin him. It was like a game for him and all through it, he smiled. His second season was a bit similar. It wasn’t until his third season where we saw a change in his intent and technique on the mat. The last five years have been such a joy watching him grow and develop as a young athlete, especially in the sport of wrestling. In 2020 Hunter qualified for his first state tournament. Unfortunately, it was cancelled due to the pandemic. Everything was shut down in March and by the time May rolled around, my husband and I knew that we needed to find a way for Hunter to continue training. That’s where the garage sessions began. Initially it seemed extreme, but once he was back on a mat, it was as though he had never stepped off.
In 2021 Hunter qualified for his second state tournament and came in fourth for his weight in his division. In 2022 Hunter qualified for his third state tournament and came in 5th for his weight class in his division. He has been among the top wrestlers in the state of New Jersey for his age, division and weight class for four years running. I am consistently proud and in awe of the time and dedication he puts forth into perfecting his craft as a young wrestler. It hasn’t been easy. There have been wins and there have been losses. He has been pinned. He has lost tournaments. And yet, not once has he said he has wanted to quit.
As with every journey, there have been bumps along the way that have interfered with his goals. Those interferences have come in the form of emotions and although he is only 10 years old, these emotions have been his biggest hinderance on the mat. This past wrestling season was the most challenging for him I’d have to say. He did qualify for states for the 4th year in a row, but he did not place in the top 8. His emotions got the better of him, distracting him from his goal of being a three-time state placeholder. He did, however, go 2-2 in one of the toughest brackets he has ever been in. That, in and of itself, is an accomplishment.
Wrestling is a mentally, and emotionally, arduous sport. As much as you anticipate the outcome of a match, all it takes is one second, just one second, for it to change. Hunter went 2-2 on Sunday at the state tournament, losing his fourth match to be eliminated. My heart sank as I watched from afar. As a mother, you want nothing more than for your child to be happy. In my mind’s eye I can still see my little four-year-old, foot shuffling in the center of the mat grinning from ear to ear as he plays take down with another kid. And so, when I don’t see a smile when he walks off the mat, I feel for him. I feel the defeat. As a mother, you can feel their disappointment and chagrin and all you yearn to do is absorb it as quickly as possible so they no longer feel it. But what would it teach them if they didn’t experience failure?
As adults we know failure is downright uncomfortable; it does not feel good in the slightest. Imagine what a child must feel when they don’t reach a goal or when they lose a match or a game? One of the most difficult lessons I have had to share with my son is that for him to grow and succeed as a young athlete, he must fail. Failure is how we learn from our mistakes. It is a way for us to reflect, reevaluate and realign ourselves with our desired goals.
Although our hearts have been heavy with his elimination on Sunday, today is a new day. The season has ended, the slate is wiped clean, new goals will be created and past failures will continue to be the steppingstones towards future successes. When you look at it from the inside, you forget the journey. I had to take a step back and remind myself how far my son has come since he started and how accomplished he is for qualifying for states again because it is no easy feat.
Folkstyle is over and Hunter is now on to freestyle. He enjoys this style of wrestling more. As he transitions from one to the other, we welcome a new season of growth. It is during this time where progress is made, not just in style and technique, but also in mindset and strength. I never anticipated being a wrestling momma; I knew nothing about the sport. Over the last few years, I have learned a lot about maturation and how an intense focus can lead to the alignment of our aspirations. Hunter’s dedication and commitment to being the best he can be is truly inspiring. I feel blessed to be in his corner and look forward to the strides he will continue to make as a young athlete.