Remembering Aloha

[Originally written: January 2018]

Seven years ago I landed on the island I once called home. There is not a day that passes where I don't miss driving along the windward coast, windows down, a warm Hawaiian breeze blowing softly through my hair. Hawai'i life was the best life, or at least, that's what I thought at the time. 

I never saw myself returning to the mainland, except to visit family, but the universe had other plans. Somehow it knew I needed more than just a reset. There are days I wish I hadn’t left and that Michael and I had raised our family under the sun. However, had we done so, we would have kept our family from experiencing the joys of watching our children grow. 

O'ahu was the one place where I continuously felt content. I traveled to the island four times in one year. And every time I landed back in New Jersey, I wanted to hop on the next flight back. There was nothing here that made me feel the way I felt when I was living the aloha spirit. When you embrace the island, its beauty, the never-ending sea, and the people, you forget the fast paced world from which you came. You can finally breathe. 

I moved to O’ahu for a fresh start. I wanted to leave behind the things that were keeping me down. For me, O’ahu was a reset button. 

After my third trip, I began to consider ways in which I could permanently live on the island. I knew it would be expensive, so I applied to grad school. Within two months, I received my acceptance letter from Hawai’i Pacific University. I had found my way home. 

I had no intention of falling for anyone prior to moving. They say things happen for a reason and I truly believe I was supposed to meet Michael when I did. Our paths were destined to cross. Two weeks before leaving, Michael and I started dating. We had only really known each other for a week when Michael said he wanted to make the move with me. As crazy as it was, we both deserved a fresh start, and I honestly couldn't see myself leaving him behind. Michael flew out the week after I did.

Sometimes it feels like yesterday. I remember being anxious for the warmth of the sun on my face, the smell of the sea and the soft sand under my feet. I wanted to stare out into the horizon and watch the waves crash on the North Shore. I wanted to fall asleep under the sun as I listened to the sound of the waves. Hawai’i was everything to me. It helped me realize what was most important in my life: myself. When you’re alone on an island, immersed in its beauty, you begin to see things in a new light.

XOXO Amanda